What They Don't Tell You

posted on: Tuesday, May 8, 2012

(a brief moment of peace)

You know how when you're pregnant and everyone gives you all these pointless warnings... "Oh, you'll never sleep again. You'll never have any time for yourself now. Forget what you want to do, your schedule is their schedule from here on out"... and so on and so forth. All the standard warnings people mindlessly dole out that are meant to...I dunno, scare the crap out of you (?) that do you absolutely no good since it's obviously too late to change your mind and the baby is already on it's way, like it or not.

Yeah, those warnings.

Well, you know what no one ever mentions? You know what no one ever talks about? How sick the little devils get. No one ever said ONE word about this. Sick, like for real, sick. Sick all day - every day. Morning, noon and night. Ooh, ooh and they get you sick too! That's the best part! S-I-C-K.

Not just the sniffles and a little diaper rash. Sick like, pull over the car, the baby has vomited all over himself, the carseat, the car seat, and the car door. Sick, like stripping his clothes off in a patch of grass in a random church parking lot and the car still smells like vomit three days later, sick. That happened twice this weekend. Twice.

Sick, like a trip to urgent care because your normal doctor can't fit him in for four more days and a massive diaper blowout in the waiting room. A blowout I have to change on the restroom floor because they don't have a changing station - while the baby tries to squirm off of the paper towel "blanket" I've haphazardly lain down in a vain attempt to protect him from contracting any further diseases. Poo everywhere. Just. Everywhere.

Sick, like a double ear infection, bacterial eye infection and gastroenteritis! Sick, like $70 worth of prescriptions, baby advil and pedialyte later. And I'm not even going to talk about the co-pays. And this is after seeing the doctor for this exact same thing one round of antibiotics and 2 weeks earlier.
Did I mention the older one's been puking off and on all weekend too? Oh yeah, that's just what they do now.

It's just a constant state of unrest, crying, clinging, and never ending comfort nursing (seriouslythey'reabouttofalloffandIwishIwasjoking) set to the soundtrack of  "mamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamama" spoken in the whiniest voice possible, on repeat, at our house.

Wanna come over?

Is it just my kids? Does this happen with everyone? Because it feels like just me. Tell me this is normal! More importantly, tell me this will not last forever.


  1. It doesn't last forever, look at you three - when was the last time you puked and had ear infections or pooed your pants! You might be in your 20's, but that doesn't really matter - it DOES get better.......... eventually. : )
    Hang in there momma!

    1. haha. I've actually puked more in the last two years alone than the rest of my my entire twenties combined. Thanks little dudes, thanks.

  2. It's entirely normal. Especially when you have more than one child all under the age of 6 and they interact with other children around the same age. Yes, children in primary school get sick, but there is a special brand of sick for the pre-primary set. Their little immune systems are on overload battling all sorts of foreign invaders. Think of it like this: Wes and Oren are building their resumes of disease. The more they get now the better they are for the future.

    My mom had three children: A set of twins and me 18 months later. We had the whole kit and caboodle of childhood diseases. The first four years of our lives were full of snot and upchuck. It culminated in my brother Phil getting pneumonia at age 5, then contracting chicken pox at the hospital. He gave it to my dad, who then passed it on to me and Brad. After the pox passed I got strep so bad that I lost a significant amount of hearing in my left ear.

    The doctors suggested that we have our tonsils removed. Voila -- no more sickness. The gods had been appeased. The plague had been lifted through our tissue sacrifice.

    I'm not suggesting that route for you, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Unfortunately you can't fast forward through all of the vomit and diarrhea to get there. The onslaught of bodily fluids will retreat with due time.

    Meanwhile if you need a break, I'll hang out with those dudes in the evenings!

    1. Dang, Marisa. You win. Thank god we haven't had any hospital stays yet (save for that whole oren not breathing at birth thing). It's not so much the severity of the illnesses, but the frequency. I feel like we're not even over the first thing before the next is already rearing its ugly head. ugh.

    2. Haha, there are no winners in this game. Only tired parents and cranky children. I'm surprised my mom didn't throw us out with the trash. Or flee the country and assume another identity.


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