The truth is, having two kids is hard.
It's hard to go without the extra sleep you're used to.
It's hard to face the finances as the medical bills start rolling in.
It's hard to keep up on the housework and the laundry and all the other daily tasks at hand.
But far and away, the hardest part has been balancing my time between the two of them. And the truth is, I'm still trying to find my way.
The colicky symptoms are still hanging around and making us all miserable. Luckily, I found a great book that's been really helping to calm Ori when he has one of his crying spells, but the techniques are time consuming and it feels like he's getting all of my attention right now. Of course, Wes still needs me just as much as he used to and it's hard handing him off to someone else, or making him wait until I can get to him. With one unhappy baby and a two year old who I'm afraid is feeling a little forgotten, it seems like one big fat parenting fail after another for me lately.
Now, as an extra sour cherry on top --- I have to face the fact that I'm going back to work in less than a week and all of it is just a little bit overwhelming. I want to be there for both of my boys every minute of every day. I want to meet their needs and be the one to make them happy.
I want to be super mom, the thing is, right now, I feel like I'm not quite good enough to do it all.
But I still keep trying.
I think you are an amazing mom and shouldn't doubt yourself. You do a great job balancing everything. In fact, I have no idea how you do what you you do.
ReplyDeleteGoing back to work will be fine. It won't be fun, but it will be okay.
I've got your back and we will get through all of it together.
Oh Emily, Wes absolutely knows that you love him to pieces. How can he not? He has one of the most caring and supportive families I have ever seen! Extra attention for Ori or not, that kid has the life! In a few weeks everything will even out. Oren's (colicky?) crying sessions will subside, summer will be in full swing, and everything will be okay.
ReplyDeleteYou're the best, don't forget it!
Been there, done that, still feel that way sometimes, but look how awesome we all turned out! :`) You should be very proud of yourself and all that you have accomplished - I know I sure am! Hang in there little girl - it's all soooo worth it - very hard, but worth it all!
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