Confessions of a Two Year Old Hoarder

posted on: Tuesday, January 4, 2011

The following items are the things Weston insisted he bring to bed with him tonight:
  • one "Don't let the Pigeon Drive the Bus" book
  • one teddy bear
  • one glow worm doll
  • one cup of cold water WITH ICE!
  • one "Snowy Day" book
  • one plastic recycling truck with driver
  • three small animal blankets
  • one tamborine
His entire bedtime routine is bordering on ridiculous and it's not just the hoarding. It all begins with a three minute warning that bedtime is approaching. The three minutes quickly pass and he immediately asks for three more minutes. To which I say no and the toy clean up commences. He's actually really good at this part, and although I think it's just more stalling than anything, he manages to locate every single stray toy within a two mile radius and make sure it makes its way into the proper bag, box or drawer.
Then we tell Daddy goodnight (and Georgia, and Maeby and the stockings too if it happens to be christmas time).
We then head upstairs to get a fresh diaper, clean pjs and brush his teeth. After which he needs exactly four drinks of water.
Then we go into his bedroom where he promptly removes the pajama pants I just put on him.
No pants for sleeping!
He also removes any socks he may be wearing as well.
We read a book or two (or seven) and then we have to turn on his sound machine/projector thingy that makes fish appear on the ceiling and set it to play either music, ocean sounds or a heartbeat. You know, whatever he's in the mood for...
We pile the items he has collected into bed with him.
Next, I turn on his closet light and crack the door to a specific degree of openness which he deems appropriate.
Then we must banish all the Monsters, Dinosaurs, Crocodiles, Sharks and Dragons from his room so he can avoid being eaten in his sleep, of course. Sometimes Daddy has to be called in to help with this part, because, well, daddies are just way scarier to Monsters, Dinosaurs, Crocodiles, Sharks and Dragons.
I tell him goodnight, and sweet dreams and give him a kiss and hug.
We tell each other I love you.
I finally turn off the light and leave.
I take two steps away and I hear...

And so it goes, night after night.

One day I'll miss this


  1. So glad no flat cats were involved! LOVE IT!!!

  2. This is one of the greatest posts, ever.


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