Bits and Pieces From Our Christmas

Anyone who really knows me, or probably even vaguely knows me, knows how much I love christmas. It's kind of my favorite thing. But this year with the new baby coming in November, fitting in all our usual traditions and holiday activities, (let alone remembering to photograph them) proved to be a little more difficult than years past. So, we did what we could. Sure, I didn't have enough stockings to go around and I never found the time to replace the tree skirt Lincoln ruined last year, but we did manage to hang our handmade paper snowflakes (Wes was so into it this year) and we did remember to leave cookies out for santa even if we bought them from the store instead of baking them ourselves. 

Next year, we're going big. My house will be dripping with christmas lights to make up for lost time. Just you wait and see. But for now, here are a few of my favorite photos from the season. 

^^^ Lisa made Ever that adorable dress! ^^^

 ^^^ This was Ben's first time home since Ever's been born. They had a lot of catching up to do. ^^^

 ^^^ Those prosciutto and gruyere stuffed croissants though...^^^

 ^^^ Last minute notes to Santa ^^^

^^^ Reindeer dust (oats mixed with glitter!) to spread in the front yard...attracts reindeer from what I understand ;) ^^^

^^^ this picture. ^^^

 And one last shot at a photo of all three. We tried!

From our family to yours...

wishing you all happy holidays and a safe new year!

On Third Babies

Before she was born, I worried. Oh, how I worried. I worried about the birth. I worried about the baby's health. I worried I might never have a daughter. I worried that even if I did have a daughter I wouldn't be able to love her the way I love my sons. I worried and I worried and I worried some more.

And then she was born. And everything just fell into place.

The birth was all I could have hoped for. She was healthy. I had a daughter (I had a daughter, I had a daughter. I still can't quite believe it). The love I have for her is so profound, so big and magnificent that it sometimes feels like too much, maybe. I know this love. This scary, heavy, almost crippling love that leaves you changed forever. Which is to say I love her just as much as her brothers. Which is to say there is no going back. She is a part of me that can never be undone.

When you have your first it rocks you to the core. The changes to your life are so drastic and so immediate that I imagine it's a bit like being thrown into battle - a new soldier in a foreign land. It's a bit like just trying to survive. As Elizabeth said of her first born, "we bonded, but we bonded like war buddies". Every small victory is hard won. Everyday that you look around and everyone is still alive and accounted for seems like a small miracle.  You spend his babyhood just trying to get through it.

When you have your second, it's more like riding a bike. Things are not as scary this time, and you relish in the comparative ease of it all.  The adjustment is merely a blip on the screen and life simply goes on. Until one day your baby is a toddler and you realize you did not spend nearly enough time soaking up his babyhood. You breezed right through it and now it's gone and you can never get it back.

And so, when you have your third you come to this season of motherhood a little wiser and maybe a little more thankful for this one last chance to start anew. Things are harder, undoubtedly. You are still just one person with two tired hands and three little people who all need you just as much as they ever did. But when the baby is crying and dinner needs made and homework needs checked, you just look down at the perfect creature in your arms and laugh. Because you appreciate this time, even the hard parts, so much more than you ever could have before. Because you know that one day you will miss this. You know how time has a way of just slipping by. And so you smile at the crying baby and hold her a little closer. You try to imprint each fleeting moment into your memory. You don't bother worrying over fussy nights or lost sleep anymore, you just soak it all in. You relish in the diaper changing and cluster feedings and baskets of tiny laundry that need washing. You are tired, but you are happy and so very grateful to be here.

A New Tradition

We are still trying to slowly climb our way out of the newborn fog over here (as evidenced by my lack of posts lately ;) and we're getting there bit by bit. Baby girl turned one month old on Saturday but even so, leaving the house, with three kids, in the winter -- has been a bit of a challenge. We're making it work though and taking advantage of days like last Saturday when the temperatures were in the upper 40s and the sun was actually shining and getting the heck out of dodge for a few hours. 

We've been getting our christmas tree from the same farm just about my whole life. That's where my dad took us every year growing up and where Josh and I have taken the boys every year since they've been born. We went again this year and found the selection a little underwhelming and the prices a little overwhelming if you know what I mean. I'm sorry, but $100 for a tree that will literally be lying on the curb in three weeks is just, ugh. 

So my dad suggested a new place he'd just found and we all went to see what there was to see and to eye the trees over real good (see how they stacked up in the symmetry and straight trunk departments if you know what I mean) and I have to say I think we've found our new "place". This was the sweetest little farm, with historic old outbuildings that have all been restored and chickens under your feet and complimentary coffee. I mean, ALL the boxes were checked, christmassy quaintness - check! tip top trees - check! friendly staff - check! not too busy - check! I was totally smitten. It's a pretty sure bet that we'll be back again next year, (and I heard they do birthday parties too so you know I'm already scheming up a plan to make that happen as soon as possible). To be honest, I kind of never wanted to leave. 

A Little Update + Some Photos

Sorry for the radio silence the last few weeks, everyone. I've been taking some time to get to know our sweet new baby and adjusting to life with three littles.  Miss Ever has been an absolute joy to us the last three weeks. Her soft skin, her sweet baby milk breath. I've been in heaven, truly. Her birth went better than I could have ever even imagined, save for needing a little help from a doc to get her unstuck (we're blaming her chunky size for that one) and I can't wait to share her birth story here when I eventually find some time to write it! Do you see that photo below you guys? That's a baby that came out BREATHING. What?! I know. 

Wes loves our little girl so, so much. He asks to hold her all the time and just like when Oren was born he took to her immediately and is completely un-phased by the transition to big brother of two. Oren, on the other hand...he's still adjusting.  He's been asking me to "put that down" when I'm holding her so he can sit on my lap (jealous much?) and didn't even touch her until day three. So, yeahhhhhh, we're working on it. 

The photo below of Oren holding Ever brought to you exclusively by bribery ;)

Long story short, we're head over heels for our girl and having her here finally, is just so...much. It's just everything. We are complete. My heart is full. And I am the very luckiest, this I know.