Is Thing On?

I have been mostly absent from this blog since the beginning of the year. I didn't plan for it to happen, but life changes that way. Since the election and the subsequent installment of the new administration (and all that has come along with it), I have found it difficult to sit down and write about light hearted outings or wax poetic over another of my children's milestones.  It all just seems SO unimportant when there are babies being attacked with chemical weapons in Syria or a climate change denier is heading up the EPA. The truth is, I'm overwhelmed. On a macro and micro level, 2017 has been a real shit storm. Josh was laid off from his job a few weeks back, and although we are doing fine and new job opportunities are on the horizon, the uncertainty and sad feelings surrounding the situation are another hurdle to face every day. It's exhausting to keep up with the day to day routines of life when the world seems to be falling apart around you. And it's especially hard to justify sitting down to write a blog post when my anxiety about the world is telling me that there are a million other things that would be a better use of my time and energy. That said, I do miss having a keeping place for the good memories and little things I don't want to forget.  I don't want to look back on this time in my life and see that I let the bad parts completely eclipse the everyday beautiful moments that ARE here. So I will try to get back to this place a little more often, I know down the road I will be glad I did.

In the mean time, here are a few life updates to catch everyone up:

Oren turns SIX in a couple weeks. That is crazy to me. That kid should be no older than two and I have no idea how we've gotten to six already.

Ever is completely weaned. Josh had a vasectomy. So, no more babies in our house ever again. 

I have been reading so many books on race in America. There is so much information out there and so much to learn that I feel infinitely behind. I'm hosting a discussion group at my house Friday, May 12th at 7pm to review two of these books. I'd love if you could join us. We're reading The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander and Hillbilly Elegy by J.D. Vance. If you live too far away to join us or book discussion groups just aren't your thing (but staying woke is) I'd still love if you'd give these a read and let me know what you think.

Josh is the new chairman of the Wadsworth Democrats. I'm really proud of him. Change starts at the grassroots level and he is already doing great things.

My mom and I launched a new website for our bow/headband company. (So long Etsy!) Yes, this is a shameless plug. Go check it out, maybe tell a friend? #ad

https://www.everirisdesigns.com/

Also, Easter is this weekend? I really and sincerely hope to be back here with cute egg hunt pictures soon. In the mean time, it feels good to be writing a bit again. Depression is real y'all, and so is self care. I just wanted to throw that out there in case anyone needed to hear that today, Do what you have to do to take care of yourself and don't ever be ashamed of it. 

xoxo

The state of things

I am sitting on the floor surrounded by piles of unfolded laundry and an empty suitcase that still needs filling. The boys are using my phone to watch minecraft videos in Weston's room and Ever is walking around with her baby doll shushing it and patting it's back. Downstairs I can hear the sound of men working in our office, finally fixing the wall and ceiling damage from a leak that we've been procrastinating over for months. They need me to pick a paint color. Shit. "Just paint it all white", I say. I've just gotten off the phone with the freight company who needs to reschedule the delivery of materials for our new kitchen floor. The driver was here earlier today and didn't have the right equipment to get it off of his truck, so I watched him drive away, my beloved slate tile still buried somewhere inside. So close, but so far away and dangit, I was really looking forward to unboxing it and pulling out some pieces to ogle over and fondle today. But whatever, I've waited this long...what's a few more days? I still really need to pack that suitcase because I'm leaving for Nashville in the morning for a long weekend visit with my brother. (But not before stopping by a client's house to supervise a delivery on my way out of town). And now the boys are hungry and we're meeting some family for ice cream in an hour and a half so it will have to wait. By the time we get home it will be baths and stories and bedtime and packing after the sun goes down and the day will be gone. This life is good, but full. And a little out of balance right now. So I'm just doing the best I know how to keep the babies fed and the clients happy and birthday cards mailed and the toilets clean and mostly trying not to drop all the balls.

 

Let's be honest, some balls have definitely been dropped.

 

 

*****

 

 

Nashville pics soon, I hope?

A New Tradition

We are still trying to slowly climb our way out of the newborn fog over here (as evidenced by my lack of posts lately ;) and we're getting there bit by bit. Baby girl turned one month old on Saturday but even so, leaving the house, with three kids, in the winter -- has been a bit of a challenge. We're making it work though and taking advantage of days like last Saturday when the temperatures were in the upper 40s and the sun was actually shining and getting the heck out of dodge for a few hours. 

We've been getting our christmas tree from the same farm just about my whole life. That's where my dad took us every year growing up and where Josh and I have taken the boys every year since they've been born. We went again this year and found the selection a little underwhelming and the prices a little overwhelming if you know what I mean. I'm sorry, but $100 for a tree that will literally be lying on the curb in three weeks is just, ugh. 

So my dad suggested a new place he'd just found and we all went to see what there was to see and to eye the trees over real good (see how they stacked up in the symmetry and straight trunk departments if you know what I mean) and I have to say I think we've found our new "place". This was the sweetest little farm, with historic old outbuildings that have all been restored and chickens under your feet and complimentary coffee. I mean, ALL the boxes were checked, christmassy quaintness - check! tip top trees - check! friendly staff - check! not too busy - check! I was totally smitten. It's a pretty sure bet that we'll be back again next year, (and I heard they do birthday parties too so you know I'm already scheming up a plan to make that happen as soon as possible). To be honest, I kind of never wanted to leave. 

Well, hello there October

“I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.”
― L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

Things have been quiet around the internet lately, haven't they? Well except for E. Ivie who came back from her blogging hiatus with quite the bang. All these new posts from her have me terribly spoiled and I've been so enjoying getting to dig into her writing again. But unfortunately for me, I can't say the same. Things have certainly been quiet over here in my corner of the web. I have been working on the house, cleaning and organizing and nesting, I suppose. We've been getting into our new school routine with Wes, and into the hang of homework and sight words and lots and lots of book reading. 

Now that Wes is in school five days a week, I've been savoring my Mondays with Oren. After Wes was born and it came time to transition back to work after maternity leave I changed my schedule and began working four ten hour days (taking Mondays off to have an extra day home with him, just the two of us). This has been my schedule ever since and when Oren was born it became another day I got to spend with the two of them together. When Wes started Pre-K at age four, I still kept him home on Mondays with me (selfishly hanging onto our Mondays together for as long as I possibly could). But now that he's six and officially in kindergarten, four day school weeks are no longer optional, and off to class he goes on Monday mornings. I was (and still am) mourning the fact that our Mondays together have finally come to a close. I know he feels it too, and knowing he has to go to school while Oren gets to stay home with me has been a tough pill to swallow for him. But we're adjusting.  We're always adjusting and then re-adjusting to new schedules, routines, growth, life changes. But in Weston's absence I have been trying to really focus on these brief weeks where my Mondays are for Oren and Oren only. In between school starting in August for Wes and the birth of our newest babe at the end of this month (hopefully) I have these few, precious weeks of Mondays with my second born. If I stop to think about it, Wes had over two years of Mondays being the only child where all my attention was devoted to him and only him. And when Oren goes off to kindergarten in a few years, baby number three will have me to themselves for the few remaining years of their own toddlerhood before he or she begins school. But Oren? All he gets is this handful of weeks with my total, undivided attention. The plight of the middle child, I suppose. But what can you do?

So I have been spoiling him extra good, with breakfasts out and trips to the pet store and ice cream shop. Lots of couch cuddling and movies of his choice. Trips to the park and a few too many glasses of soda. He probably won't even remember this time we have spent together, but I certainly will. I am clinging to him for all it's worth for these next few weeks and enjoying every last moment while he's still my youngest and still my baby. And as much as I am looking forward to meeting our newest little one I will try my best not to wish away these last few weeks. I will enjoy this last small part of what will soon be my old life. I will savor this October.

Life Lately

Let's just be real for a minute. This is what my calendar looks like right now.  Even looking at it is giving me heart palpitations.

And that pretty much sums up life lately if you wanted it in a nutshell. So just know that I haven't given up on blogging, I just can't seem get my brain in any sort of mind frame for writing or my butt in a chair for the hour or so of free time it takes to write a decent post. And I'm trying to give myself a little grace on this front. (I hope you will too). This space is important to me, but sometimes you just have to admit you can't keep up with it all, all the time. Summer is always the busiest season for us every year by far, but somehow I seem to forget that until one day I wake up I realize every single day is booked with one thing or another (or sometimes three). And normally I'm happy to roll with it knowing plenty of cold winter days spent cooped up inside are waiting for us just around the corner - but this summer and this pregnancy just do not seem to be compatible. Life has been all doctor appointments, school supply shopping, graduations, birthdays, birthday party planning (I'm about to have a SIX year old?!), photo shoots, bridal showers, hair appointments, vet appointments, dentist appointments - you name an appointment and chances are it's on my calendar this month. Add in a husband who has been traveling for work more than ever before and things are just...rough...right now, if I'm being honest. And I can't seem to be able to find the off switch for my brain at night to allow me any solid stretches of good sleep. Last night as I sat in bed knowing that my alarm was set for 5am but at 2am I still had yet to even close my eyes? - it's all just a little maddening if you can imagine. Has anyone else experienced a pretty severe case of pregnancy insomnia before? I had it a little near the end of my last two pregnancies, but I'm talking like the last four weeks or so. But this has been going on already now for at least a month, and I can't see how it will improve as I only get bigger, more uncomfortable and closer to delivery. Normally, if I weren't pregnant I'd be all, bring on the ambien! But so far as I know, there's not a whole lot of safe and effective stuff to take when you're with child. Yesterday (at yet another appointment - whatup glucose test?) my midwife suggested I take half a Benadryl before bed to help make me drowsy, so I'm going to try that. But if anyone else has any tried and true suggestions - I am all ears.  Really, lay it on me. That or lay a rubber mallet upside my head tonight because girlfriend is getting desperate.

Meanwhile, I'm going to do my best to keep up with the demands of this month and still carve out a little time for blogging where I can. I do have another post in the works on what I've been reading lately - (the one perk to insomnia being plenty of extra hours for catching up on books and mindlessly scrolling through Netflix?) - so stay tuned for that post (hopefully) coming soon(ish). I'm not making any promises :/

Much love and sleeping dust to all.

xoxo

Just Checking in to Say I'm Alive

I know I haven't blogged in a week. I'm not sure who's keeping track (or even cares) but just in case you're wondering, all is well. Just riding the wave of a major blogging slump and keeping busy with other things. Today it was raking all the leaves there ever were and doing this: 

I can't tell you how much I love this house, and I'm so glad we're here. I really, really love it, and christmas lights sure look good on her.  Josh worked all day getting all these up, so as an act of appreciation for all his hard work I'm about to go make a big batch of oatmeal cookies and snuggle up on the couch with my fam and watch Christmas Vacation.

And tomorrow (ok, maybe Monday) I'm kicking this bloggy writer's block to the curb with a series of throw back posts on our trip to Italy from a bajillion years ago. If you got nothing exciting going on, just relive the past, am I right? Also, I'd really like to have these pictures (as crappy as they are) preserved on the internet here because we've never even had them printed. In fact, until we dusted off an old hard drive I wasn't even sure if we still had them at all. Which is a little scary. And makes me want to get all my favorite old memories put to post here juuuuust in case. So hopefully you guys are down with that. If not, check back in another week and maybe something more exciting will have developed by then. I'll do what I can ;)

for now though, I'm off to join the Griswolds.

Happy Saturday, guys!

Signing Off

 

 

Pardon me for the next few days while Josh and I are off exploring the land of fire and ice. Wifi will be spotty and we'll be just a teense bit busy having our minds blown. I hope to be able to check in with some photos of the trip here and there while we're abroad, but if not, don't worry, I'll be back with more pictures and posts than you'll know what to do with.

oh, and if you're so inclined, follow along on instagram:  _iamemme #icelandicadventure

 

see you on the other side


 

I'm Not Dead! I Just Moved.

Oh, hey.

Hey, guys.

Ummmm, so. I didn't quit blogging, really I didn't. I just took a, um, vacation of sorts. If you call picking crusted paint off floors with your finger nails and sanding woodwork a vacation that is. But I did use some vacation days, so I'm counting it.

So we moved, obviously. I have spent the last two? (I've lost all sense of time) or so weeks in basically a construction zone. We had ALL the carpet ripped out on the entire second floor hoping to find beautiful hardwood floors beneath them. And we did, for the most part. Give our take a bunch of old paint splatters on the wood floor in Oren's room and a certain hole in the floor in Weston's little office off his bedroom that was patched with cement. Because you always patch hardwood floors with cement, right? Standard procedure from what I gather. What I'm getting at here is that new houses are full of surprises. Time consuming surprises. And lots of carpet staples to remove.

I had what I thought was a very realistic goal set to get just the boy's bedrooms painted before we moved in, that way even though I knew the rest of the house would be in upheaval, they would have their own spaces to start settling in to. We got the keys on a Wednesday, I took off work Thursday and Friday to paint and we moved on Saturday.  Well, in terms of how well that goal was achieved,  let's just say Oren is still sleeping in the guest bedroom. The whole house has dark stained trim throughout. Except for a few areas here and there where the trim has been painted, primarily upstairs. And I am all for this, by the way. We have beautiful quarter sawn tiger oak trim on the first floor which I have resolved not to paint. On the second floor the trim is still nice and heavy with great detailing, but the quality of the wood is not what it is on the first floor. Which is pretty typical and therefore the easier it is to justify painting it. Of course neither of the boys bedrooms were the ones where the trim was already painted. I mean, don't get me wrong, even if it were painted I would have surely repainted it with the color of my choosing, but I was starting at square one here. All the trim needed to be gone over with a fine tooth comb, filling all the holes and scuffs, caulking any gaps, and then it all needed sanded. Then of course you need to go back over the trim and wipe it all down with a clean washcloth to get all the dust and debris off. Finally, after it dries, you can paint. Did I mention it takes THREE coats to get solid coverage over the dark trim? And that's with the fancy paint and primer in one, by the way. Oh, and once you're done with the trim you have to tape it all off to paint the walls. Two more coats there.

I should also mention I am doing this all the Giffels way. For those of you who have not read David Giffels's book, All The Way Home - Building a Family in a Falling Down House, let me give you a brief synopsis. David is an Akron local who bought an amazing old mansion in Highland Square that was in total disrepair. He spent the next few years completely re-building it from top to bottom. And when Giffels does a home repair, Giffels don't take no short cuts. He notes in one chapter the hours, DAYS even, he spent tediously removing all the old paint from the door hinges in the house. When you have a century home, you have a certain duty to do it the right way. So even though I had help (so much help from our families!) everything just takes way longer than you'd think. In turn every time I was wrenching free yet another antique door knob only to paint behind it and then re-assemble it I would scrunch up my face and curse David Giffels for doing this to me. Or every time Abby was sent with a fine tip paint brush to paint around yet ANOTHER door hinge I would hear a shout from across the hall, "GIFFELSSSSS!" and I knew we were doing it the right way.

We did manage to finish up Wes's room before we moved in and he slept in there the next night. But I've only just finished Oren's yesterday (stupid actual job/unpacking getting in the way). He's still sleeping in his crib in the guest bedroom until his brand new TWIN bed arrives. I'm dying that he's old enough for a real bed, but I'm excited too. I still need to put the finishing touches on both boys rooms, but they're getting very close to finished. As for the rest of the house, well, Rome wasn't built in a day, at least that's what I keep telling myself. Once I start getting some rooms really and truly done, I'll start sharing some pictures, but for now, all I have to offer is a photo of my piano. The one truly finished spot in the house.

Lord help me, I have a ways to go.

An Update on Life Lately + Pictures From my Phone

Josh has been in Chicago the past four days and is currently on a plane returning to us now. (Praise the lord!) I can't wait for him to get back so I can say "your turn" for the next week straight when someone needs a diaper change or wants to play zombies/army/batman/pirates/etctetcetc. Work has been crazy, house stuff has been crazy, weaning has been crazy. It's all crazy. (But then I remember what sweet Audra's month looks like and I want to slap myself upside the head for even complaining. Seriously, girlfriend is superwoman.) I'll get to the down and dirty details momentarily, but first, pictures...

1. House Stuff. 

I never, ever, EVER plan on moving again once this is all over, and from what I gather we haven't even had it that bad, which is insane. It's all just such a ridiculously asinine process. You negotiate and negotiate and finally sign a contract (or two) and you think you're more or less good to go, but you're not. You're not even close. We had inspections on both houses which led to more negotiations (still ongoing as we speak) and then we found out that our current house tested positive for radon (great!) and so you think you could just give the buyers some cash so they can take care of it when they move in? But oh no, their loan is FHA and it can't even be approved until the radon is mitigated. Which means we have to deal with getting that whole system installed which in turn means everything is on hold until then. Perfect.

Cut to our new house where we had to wait THREE WEEKS to get the appraisal back. Three weeks, people. It was overdue by a week and the appraiser was no where to be found. Wasn't returning phone calls, emails, nothing. So we just waited in limbo wondering if this appraiser ever actually even existed and if maybe someone shouldn't be filing a missing person's report? Finally, just this morning the appraisal magically came through with no explanation for the delay or lack of communication. Whatever, it appraised and that's all that matters. I guess.

So, we're back to re-negotiating everything based on all the new information from the inspections and also back to getting new quotes and more house repairs done. It's just like two months ago all over again!

2. Weaning. 

I officially ended nursing on the 1st of this month. So, we're a week strong tomorrow. It wasn't planned, I was just waiting for the right moment. That morning when Oren woke up wanting to nurse I just didn't really feel like it, so I figured I'd try to get him to go the whole day without. It wasn't easy, but we did it. So the next day I did the same and the next and the next, and now it looks like we're really doing this thing. I'm relieved and elated that it's going so well and that neither of us has been too emotional over it. I'm also glad that I didn't pre-determine the exact day I was going to stop so I didn't make too big of a deal over our last time. Sometimes, for me, it's easier that way. I didn't know it would be our last time, so in my head I didn't make it more sad or more difficult than it needed to be.  So yes, overall, it's going well. Does Oren still ask to nurse? Yes. Does he still wake up at 4am everyday? Yes. But now the lack of nursing just gets him all pissed off and worked up so instead of nursing for an hour our two every morning we now come downstairs to the living room, cuddle on the couch and watch batman. I've also found that spoonfuls of peanut butter right out of the jar and a sippy cup of milk with a squirt or two of Hershey's extra dark syrup seems to do the trick when times are tough. I have no idea how long this will go on, but one day I'll sleep again. At least that's what I'm telling myself.

3. The Rest

As I mentioned before, work's crazy busy. It's a good problem to have and seeing all my hard work come to fruition is extremely satisfying, but I'm feeling a little burned out none the less. There's not much I can do about this, it's not like we can exactly turn away clients, so we're busy until...indefinitely, I suppose. It is what it is, but man I could use a vacation. (94 days and counting!) 

In good news, Abby's birthday is today! Happy birthday Abbysnail, you're the best sister in the whole wide world and I love you soooo much!

Also, those would be her birthday dinner pics above. I mostly just threw those in as an excuse to include the picture of my dad in his old eagle scout uniform that we dug out and made him try on while we were there the other night. Fun fact: My father, a life long liberal, once had an NRA membership and a badge in marksmanship?! What? Who would have guessed?! Of course, that was before the NRA was a bunch of right wing lobbyists as he puts it (and I may or may not be leaving out a few other adjectives). To which I say, ok dad, whatever helps you sleep at night ;)

Beyond that, just living the single mom life the last few days as I've already mentioned. Thankfully there has been nice weather, plenty of ice cream to go around and hours upon hours logged at the park the past few days. I'm hoping May settles down a bit from here on out, but let's get real, it's only going to get worse before it gets better. Let's not forget that whole packing and actually moving to an entirely new house thing coming down the pike. 

So, um, I guess wish me luck if you'd be so kind and go easy on me if the blog posts aren't quite so plentiful, ok? As for me I'm off to bed since it's after midnight and 4am is just around the corner...what can I say? I'm livin' the dream ;)

This is me, blogging.

So, Josh has been in Dallas on a work trip for what feels like forever. He just got home in the early morning hours last night and I am so happy to have him back. I mean, it appears he's back, even though I left for work before he was even out of bed and we've hardly spoken a word to each other yet. But still, he's home!

When he left for this trip he took the camera and our laptop with him. Which basically equaled no blogging for this lady for the past week. Not that there would have been time for that frivilousness anyway. This single parenting thing is no joke. And I even had extra help during the day from Josh's sister, Lisa, while I was at work. Seriously, to all you single parents out there, I tip my hat to you. You people are warriors.

I hate to say it, but I don't have much to report. I spent the week working, cooking, cleaning, bathing small children and basically just trying to power through. Not much else got accomplished. We were supposed to have our house up for sale by this week, but with Josh being gone, it didn't happen. Hopefully this coming week we can get it together and do this thing.

Soooooo, yeah. This was basically a post about nothing. Maybe this week I'll be able to post about...something?  Until then, I leave you with this picture I snapped on my phone this moring.

 

 

All my boys are back under one roof again and all is right with the world once more.

 

 

 

A Quick Little Hello

 

wow. once i downloaded this from my little iphone screen on to my computer i discovered just how flattering this photo of myself really is. yeesh. (still better than my new driver's license photo though. somehow it managed to be even worse than the last picture which was taken just 6 days prior to giving birth to wes in all my bloated, puffy, pregnant faced glory. i didn't even know that was possible - positively horrifying. )

 

 

hi.....so, it appears I've gone a whole week here with out posting (if you're still even checking this thing, that is). My bad. I will say in my defense, I have been without a computer since it needed to be sent away for repairs and it just came back last night and it's a little difficult to blog without a computer, ya know? Also, I've been a tad pre-occupied since Abby started school and got new job and my brother moved away. I've been having enough sympathy anxiety for the both of them combined. Also, in the exciting arena of dental news (!!!) both Oren and I are cutting teeth at the same time, awwwww. Him: molars, me: wisdom. So no sleep for either of us and an October surgery scheduled for me. I'll let you guess which one of us has been crying more in the last week. (here's a hint - it's a tie). I think I'm the oldest person in the history of the world to just now be having my wisdom teeth removed. I so thought I had dodged this bullet years ago, but apparently not.

 

Ok, enough with all of that, my quota has been reached on complaining. Starting tomorrow I can hopefully get back to business as usual over here. Meaning, tomorrow, expect mass amounts of pictures of my kids and ice cream. More specifically, my kids eating ice cream. You know how I do.